I was only 49 and busy as a girl on the street
When Resnick came on, selling collaboration.
I said "You know I'm really short on time
Working thru' from five to nine
Haven't read my e-mails since May
And clinically speaking, my CFS is deepening
And my discs don't feel able to co-write"
But then the McCaffreys say "You're a fool fan,
You can't wait until it's right"

I wanna be a Philadelphia, must-get-healthier, Philadelphia Nerd
Meet half a million writers, tell them what I've seen
In between the lines of all my favourite skiffy-zines
I need to read up Baxter, Miller, Casper
Act the pure idiot
Scorning booze, eating cheap, dressing hip!

(We're big on hip ..)

I hit 50, smiling my "shit-eating grin" and packing all my books
I was impatient, called it preparing myself
Meantime let's read some Henderson
Take a course in Lee and Hopkinson
And while I'm at it, Swanwick and Dozois
Tenn, Bujold and Haber
Haldeman and Bear
Frost and Datlow, Mitchell and Kress
The wait will be worth it
My own garbage should be perfect by then

I'm gonna be a Philadelphia, take-it-stealthier, Philadelphia Nerd
We've written "Water skiing .." - you can buy it on the Net
Now we're bigger than the lobsters, robots, monsters, Klingons, Treks
I'll meet with Benford, Greenberg, Sheffield, Friesner,
Sherman, Klages and Card
Cadigan, Silverberg, Edelman …

The big day finally came
I met Connie … and fled thru' the door!
I cried "What is all this stumbling, crumbling, humbling and shame?"
Then I realised that Stars and Fans are one and the same
I had a Philadelphia, in-spirit-wealthier, Philadelphia shift
Now I know I won't lose patience if you're fumbling around
And I'll help you some up swinging if you tumble to the ground
This shift is gorgeous and equally nauseous
But I'll enjoy it to the hilt
Without shame, without pain, without guilt
Rise again, fly in planes, never wilt,
No shame, no pain, no guilt !