.... to the music of Janis Ian's "Roses"
 

She never had much need of plumbing,
your basic dinghy, and 12 below,
a T-shirt, pants and sandals - that'll do.
Yeah, that makes Pat really happy ...
but if I come along it turns me blue,
and so I never see the whales - it's true,
tall people always block my view

We had a celebration ...
ICE-CREAM !!  (no nice hot cakes!)
We're very proud of her
King Salmon Day.
And there, in the newsletter,
colour photos, cigars to chew,
Me, jealous of a catch like that?  Oh no,
I never really wanted to

And there'll be Mooses
by the roadside (still,
she hopes there will !)
I wish her "Moose Balls" and "Porn",
And when she's balder,
where eagles fly, she'll hit the sky,
high up in that front seat
(without me along!)

And she's my best friend, easily,
and we've both known a few
(and transcendental strangers netting through)
But on our future holidays,
I'll take her far away,
Alaska's a glorious place, I know it's true,
but, can't we find a nice warm zoo?